Another new year is upon us, and this is a time where people often chose to make changes in their life, usually in the form of a “New Year’s Resolution”. However, whilst this can be successful for some, studies have shown that up to 88% people give up their New Year’s Resolution by the end of the first two weeks. This does not mean that that there is no point in setting one, but there can be things we can do to help us to stick to them. But it is also important to remember just because it is a tradition and you might feel expected to set a new years resolution, it does not mean we have to.
Why are you making this resolution?
It is important to ask ourselves why we are making this resolution? Is it because we feel we have to? Is it because this is something we genuinely want to change? Are we feeling shamed about an aspect of ourselves? By understanding the motivation behind our resolution we can think about whether or not this is something we truly want, and and if it is why we want it.
Be Realistic
By creating resolutions that are too big of a change, this can feel daunting. If it is a resolution that is hard to stick to, and we are unable to achieve it, then we may be giving more room for our self-critic to come out. Instead, setting more realistic goals can be more achievable, no matter how small.
Praise yourself throughout
Whilst reaching our end goal is a fantastic achievement in itself, its important to remember to acknowledge and praise ourselves throughout the way. This will help to keep ourselves moralised and to recognise taking even the tiniest step towards the change you want is an achievement in itself.
Learn from “failures”
We are human and we are not perfect. Its natural that we are going to have times when we don’t do things the way that we want to, and sometimes we can have a tendency to beat ourselves up about this. However, this can feel demoralising and make us more likely to give up. Instead, we can acknowledge that things did not go to plan, and instead reflect on what we can learn from the experience which might teach us something about ourselves and our triggers. We should also acknowledge that life happens and things can get in the way, and it helps to accept that and not blame ourselves or consider ourself a “failure”. Not sticking to a resolution for however long, a day, a week or month, does not mean we should give up and does not mean we have not succeeded.
Setting it when you want to set it
It could be that when it comes to setting a new year’s resolution we can do it because we feel we have to. We are often better off setting a resolution when we want to, instead of following tradition. If the drive for change is initiated by ourselves, its more likely to be something we genuinely want, helping us to be more motivated to make change. It can take a while for routines to go back to normal after the festive period, potentially making change more challenging.
Change your language
We can often set pressures on ourselves by using language such as “I should”, or “I need to”. We make our resolution feel more positive by using language such as “I would like to” or “I will try to”. This sort of language is much kinder to ourselves and recognises that trying alone is an achievement in itself.
Don’t feel like you have to set a resolution
Just because it might seem like everybody else is, it does not mean that we have to set a new years resolution. Whilst the right intention might be there, resolutions can be quite negative and shameful to ourselves and it can feel like we constantly striving for perfection. So instead of setting a new year’s resolution, it could be helpful to recognise “I am ok where I am” or to also look back at your achievements over the past year no matter how big or small. Did I push myself out of your comfort zone? Have I already made a change in my life? Have I tried something new? Have I cut something out that was making me unhappy? These and many other things can be great things to ask ourselves at the end of the year to take the time and praise ourselves for who we already are and what we have already achieved.
Sources:
Baylor College of Medicine
Havard Health Publishing
Mental Health UK
Reflections 
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